The previous man’s insane assault on Karl Rove jogged my memory how grateful I’m that he’s not on Twitter


The colorful letterhead “SAVE AMERICA”, the new Post-MAGA branding of ocher-colored abomination, is of course even more risky than the contents of the letter. Save it from what exactly? $ 1,400 relief checks? Subsistence level? A sensible, scientifically based pandemic strategy? A president who refuses to treat social media like a piss pot that he has to empty 14 times a day from his balcony on the second floor onto the heads of passers-by?

These “official” statements must kill him. You know he wants to tweet this shit and more, but now he can’t. Twitter was designed specifically for that fool. He could blast his surging skull methane into the universe in one hearty clip, and he would get instant gratification in the form of tons of retweets, comments, and atta-boys from his Philistine horde.

These “statements” are more like D-Class essays. Donald Trump hated school. How do I know? His entire presidency was like a blood revenge against someone with an IQ over 80.

When I saw his latest offer – so close to his flawless CPAC speech – I was grateful. I am grateful that this fool is no longer on Twitter, which for years acted as a virtual mind-amalgamation between him and his good-natured followers.

Even better than his loose grip on his cult is the fact that he no longer drives me crazy with his poisonous little dingue. I no longer have to wake up wondering who was fired like a dog, which yoo-hoo taste is a panacea for COVID, or which actor is overrated, Meryl Streep or Robert De Niro.

It’s over. Forever. It’s not a straitjacket, but it’s the next best thing.

It is not for nothing that this is the result:

March 4th came and went without a riotous mob storming the Capitol again.

In its time of need, the MAGA mob no longer has an instigator to look out for. I can rest my tired eyeballs.

Thanks, Twitter, for the relaxing naps. It took you long enough, but better late than never, I guess.

Oh hello! You like free stuff, don’t you? The long awaited EPILOGUE to Aldous J. Pennyfarthing Goodbye Asshat: 101 farewell letters to Donald Trump is now available for FREE. Download your copy at this link! And don’t forget to check out the rest of the AJP oeuvre Here. Lean back and enjoy the Trumplessness!

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